KINGS OF PAIN, PT 1

Summer annual crossovers were a fun thing that DC and Marvel did in the ‘80s and ‘90s. It eventually would go away in favor of the protracted universe-wide crossover events, each with their own tie-in issues and new titles, that would drag on for an unknown number of months. But for a few fleeting summers, the comic book industries were content to devote one, maybe two months to a larger story that brought in multiple characters and titles from their entire comics offering. Sometimes they would involve basically every book—like the Atlantis Attacks or Evolutionary War events at Marvel and the Bloodlines or Eclipso: The Darkness Within events at DC.

But the most ones I enjoyed the most would essentially outline a particular set of books (usually those that belonged in the families of X-Men, the Avengers, and then the leavins for Marvel; Batman, Superman, cosmic groups, and then the leavins for DC) and have one cohesive story bring in each title to tell a rich story. One of my all time favorites of these is the 1991 Kings Of Pain event from Marvel that involved the mutant side of things. Hell, I like the event so much I tracked down the local comic shop poster promoting it to all the nerds in town.

I’m saddened that I will die alone; not confused as to why I will die alone.

I’m aware that going back is rarely a good idea. Not to mention that a lot of these events were pretty imbalanced with some installments being important to the narrative and/or filled with great art and writing. Kings Of Pain is absolutely greater than the sum of its parts—none of the story is particularly fueled by excellent action, but the final two chapters in this mutant-wide crossover have some impressively dark and deep moments that force otherwise silly superheroes in garish costumes to weigh reality against the life of an innocent child. At least, that’s how I remember. I also don’t know why Jamie Madrox The Multiple Man is featured in the advertising so strongly? I guess it’s the greens of his costume to make the other colors pop? In any case, this return to a beloved blip of entertainment in my burgeoning years may be less than good…but I remain hopeful. The four part storyline all begins in The New Mutants Annual 7.

One thing that immediately makes it all very odd is that The New Mutants, as people had known them for years, basically didn’t exist anymore.

For starters, literally one member was still a part of the team (Cannonball). The rest were dead, had been written out a while ago, moved to a different X-team, or were involved in other storylines that would all dovetail in the future in X-Force. Boom-Boom had been with the team for a while, but was actually introduced in the Fallen Angels limited series and was never really under Professor X’s purview (and only mildly under Magneto’s).

Why does talking about the X-Men always feel like getting someone caught up on decades of a soap opera right before the latest episode airs? Oy.

In any case, this team of “New Mutants” is essentially X-Force, a basically paramilitary mutant organization led by Cable to be more aggressive in fighting evil mutants and anti-mutant forces. They really weren’t that much different, mostly notable for lacking Xavier (despite the team name) but having an abundance of guns and quips.

So right off the bat, there’s problems with this book. But that’s okay. What’s in a name really?

One thing to note is the title: "Pawns of Senescence (Kings of Pain, Pt. 1)". I had to look up “senescence” and found that it means “the condition or process of deterioration with age.” So essentially entropy or how abilities and strength wither away with each passing day. Fun stuff for the comic book equivalent of a summer blockbuster!

The action kicks off the Alliance of Evil (a C-grade supervillain group of evil and doomed mutants) attacking a small school in Vermont. They arrive in full Toy Soldiers mode to take over this private school, but essentially just fuck up some security guards, swat away beloved supporting players Wiz Kid, Artie, and Leech (aka X-Terminators, kind of…google it), and then one of their members makes a suffering child enact his (at the moment, mysterious) mutant power before peacing out of there.

Wiz Kid wakes up and finds himself surrounded by The New Mutants—but only two of them he knows. Boom-Boom provides a lowdown crib sheet for all people tuning in, while also showcasing that irreverent ‘90s humor that basically is still around but has at least been somewhat refined since.

Our heroes figure out that Wiz Kid is describing the Alliance of Evil, and that this is the same group that has been causing problems up and down the east coast with this same weird modus operandi where they fly in, fuck shit up, and then skidoo out without any real rhyme or reason.

Now that our heroes are on the lookout, hopefully they can pinpoint what’s going on.

Meanwhile, there’s some staid board room/corporate stuff that is all very cloak and dagger (but not Cloak & Dagger) and suggests there’s some sort of an arms race unfolding between organizations that requires mass production of a particular DNA matrix, creation of a host for that matrix, and that a lot of money is on the line.

Blah blah blah, evil companies explaining how their plot devices will unfold in future issues.

But more interesting is this cut to a tranquil game of chess in Vail, Colorado. It’s not really explained who it is, what’s happening, or why—but it is intriguing (and ends up being the most memorable aspect of this entire event to me).

The Alliance of Evil is striking again, this time at Niagara Falls, where the mysterious Harness character is forcing that distraught boy, Piecemeal, into doing her bidding and “eating” (it would appear hoovering up some sort of energy). Luckily our heroes arrive to save the day, with Cannonball taking out Stinger (quick aside: i think there have probable been about 15 different Marvel characters named Stinger over the many years. just an odd thing to keep revisiting), Shatterstar going full PET SEMATARY on Tower’s Achilles tendon, and Warpath proving that comics have never been political until now, the Wokest of Days. Oh wait…

I didn’t say it was nuanced or good, just that politics (including representation and demographic language) have been around for a while. Cornered by Boom-Boom, Harness yanks Piecemeal down with her, plummeting below but disappearing—somehow teleporting elsewhere and away from the grasp of the New Mutants. Like 1 in 10 X-Men characters can teleport via using powers or super tech, so this development doesn’t phase anyone.

Cable once again doesn’t really do much, but he and Domino hold guns to Tower’s head to get information about what’s this all about then and where they should go next. Because he’s hardcore and intimidating. I guess? It turns out they need to haul ass to get to the oddly complicated and heavily secured corporate headquarters of Genotech in NYC. Action/Sci-Fi movies and comics at this time made every corporate headquarters out to be this Bond villain labyrinth of death and terror complete with very dedicated security personnel, excessive weaponry (and high tech booby traps), miles and miles of corridors and sub-basements, and all with freely available schematics for someone (in this case Domino) to use to guide the heroes as they navigate this deadly maze of office space.

The New Mutants take out some cameras, some guns, some guards, all with a lot of ease, and end up in a giant Jack Kirby knock-off super tech room where they are confronted by…The New Warriors, Marvel’s other hip young team that’s ready to throw down in fighting and quipping.

As is the Marvel way, we’re about to have two teams meet each other for the first time by fighting one another due to some misunderstanding. It’s a tried and true method that has made its way into the MCU (THE AVENGERS, INFINITY WAR, etc.), but also does have some real merit. The fight shows off the abilities of each side, including their personalities. It impresses how strong one (or both) sides are and why they are formidable when facing off against the “true threat” later. And it creates a way for the heroes to understand each other through combat—if someone goes for a lot of groin stuff in a scuffle, you have a fair understanding of who they are as a person.

The problem here? A bunch of these folks know each other already.

That New Warrior with the yellow and red costume? That’s Firestar (the Amazing Friend of Spider-Man from back in the day) and she once belonged to a team of mutants who were being manipulated into doing evil by Emma Frost. This team, the Hellions, also featured James Proudstar, aka Warpath (seen earlier espousing the no tolerance policy for indigenous people jokes), and they fought against the New Mutants, whose numbers included Cannonball at the time. These folks know each other! So it may be a fake out and the next chapter opens up like that one scene in BRAVEHEART where the Irish hug the Scots on the battlefield as they betray the English. Or, most likely, there’ll be a couple of pages of scrapping it up and then they’ll remember their shared history and start to unravel the mystery of the Kings Of Pain together!

So…it was a rocky start. But it’s the first act and you gotta set up a lot of pieces. Still, it seems like for the comic the story appears in, the New Mutants really don’t do much except provide exposition and get into a couple of weak donnybrooks. The idea of multiple threads being woven and puppet strings being pulled that is heading toward disaster is a fun seed to plant. The ‘90s humor isn’t as flashy or nonstop as in other books at this time, but this is also a series in limbo as they will soon shrug off the New Mutants mantle for the edgier X-Force moniker and all the massive guns, many pouches, and tiny feet that name implies (in other words, Rob Liefeld—see above).

Every cover in Kings Of Pain is done by Mike Mignola (Hellboy creator). This particular issue was written by Fabian Nicieza, penciled by Guang Yap (finishing off the series before Liefeld resumed control with the launch of X-Force), inked by Dan Panosian, colored by Brad Vancata, lettered by Joe Rosen, and the whole thing was edited by Bob Harras and Suzanne Gaffney. It isn’t the MOST ‘90s looking comic (it’s still just 1991, after all), but you can see the writing on the wall as to where things will be going in aesthetics very soon. There’s some decent jokes and I’m a sucker for putting Boom-Boom in the forefront as she’s a fun character that deserves more.

If I had just read this entry, I don’t think there’s a lot to bring me back for more. And maybe there won’t be! But that’s the fun/horrible part of venturing into the past. So join us next week for the next two issues of Kings Of Pain.

You can purchase The New Mutants Annual 7 as a digital issue from Marvel, also digitally from Comixology, or in paper form from multiple online resellers like eBay.