20 Of The Best M.U.S.C.L.E. Figures
Buckle up, nerds, cuz this one needs some backstory.
Kinnikuman was an immensely popular manga created by Yoshinori Nakai and Takashi Shimada that had features in Weekly Shōnen Jump from 1979 to 1987. It was originally a parody of Ultraman, but really just became a wrestling comedy/action storyline where the titular character fought numerous weirdos. That manga was so successful that it launched an anime that ran from 1983 to 1986, which was also very popular. This led to a line of keshi toys (little eraser like figures) that were called Kinkeshi that sold like hot cakes. So much so that Mattel came along and bought it out and repackaged them as M.U.S.C.L.E. - Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere! They were traded and collected by millions throughout the ‘80s and have come back in various forms since then.
Everybody got that?
Of course, isolated suburbanite dork that I was in the ‘80s, I didn’t know any of it. I just knew there were these freaky looking toys and they were awesome. So here’s 20 of the best (official) figures from M.U.S.C.L.E..
[All photos of figures below come from The University of M.U.S.C.L.E.’s Figure Guide]
20. Haniwa Satan
It’s an adorable onion-headed monstrosity. Enough of an oddity that it gives you pause, but not enough character to make you truly fall in love with it.
19. Amoiman
If Easter Island had a pro-wrestler ambassador. (Or if Marvel was a bit lax on its copyright restrictions for Kronans) It’s a very basic design, but there’s a charm to the blocky hard angles.
18. Kendaman (A)
Gotta love a wonky robot design. With its outsized chest and tiny head, what’s not to love about this figure as it strikes an imposing stance in the ring?
17. Snakeman
Here’s why I love Snakeman—is he the snake? Or is he being eaten by the snake? Both? Does it matter?
It’s a bizarre concept that will give you pause before shrugging and simply enjoy the grotesque display of a fighter looking out of an outsized snake’s mouth.
16. Geronimo (A)
The name makes you think it may be trending racist (and it still may be), but the design is more akin to Ultimate Warrior or other big haired beefcakes of the WWF in the 1980s.
15. Black Hole
Black Hole essentially has a donut for a head, but that just invites many hilarious moments of trying to land a punch and going straight through. It’s a comical appearance that defies logic in the best of ways.
14. Condor
I just like how this one really emotes its excitement and seems less like a wrestler and more like a positive cheerleader encouraging you onward.
13. Sneagator (E)
What an oafish looking turtle that seems like a riff on the Kappa yokai. But the stitched up shell and adorable shoes really put this version of Sneagator over.
12. Abdola
The closest to a luchador, with his mask and full body, Abdola is just a fun thuggish design that screams “jobber.” Sure, he doesn’t win many matches, but you still love seeing him out in the ring and putting in the work.
11. Mr. Nakano
“You got the dud!”
M.U.S.C.L.E. used to come in multipacks of various figures. I love that one of the figures is, presumably, the announcer from the Kinnikuman universe? Not only is he not a fighter, but his facial expression suggests he’s incredibly depressed about this fact too. Imagining a child unwrapping Mr. Nakano is just delightful moment of confused schadenfreude.
10. Leopard One
The crosses are a choice. I presume it means something else and isn’t some holy roller wrestler, but the outsized physique and suspenders actually feels prescient for the Rob Liefeld style characters that would dominate comics in the ‘90s.
9. Buzzarrar
Buzzarrar looks like M.U.S.C.L.E. started copying Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and then got worried part way through. “Um…ditch the shell…add a tail!” It’s a fun little guy that, like Condor before him, seems incredibly happy to be wherever he is at any given moment.
8. Temari
It’s a ball. Just a sentient volleyball out to mess folks up. What’s not to love?
7. Junkman (B)
So. Many. Nipples. I don’t know what else they’re supposed to be - just hardcore points on armor or something? But they look like eight giant nipples and, in turn, Junkman looks very pained to have them. The blockhands with their own nipples are a nice touch, too.
6. Sneagator (C)
Another Sneagator, but totally different style. This one always reminded me of THE GATE and EVIL DEAD 2 - yes, I watched those movies way too young - so it always had a very special place in my heart. Seems like a pretty easy wrestling opponent over all, but prove me wrong, Sneagator version C; prove me wrong!
5. Devil Knight
Just a great old-fashioned wrestler outfit and gimmick. Excellent wrestling mask, tights, and cape…Devil Knight isn’t reinventing any wheels but it is costumed wrestling done perfectly.
4. Ameragu Super Boss
I feel like this one is probably mocking Americans, and for that I salute it. The football really sells exactly what they’re going for here, with this pigskin warrior ready to crossover into the squared circle against these other freaks. It’s a fun, bulky bit of commentary and I love it.
3. Ashuraman’s Father
Firstly, it’s an amazing design. All those arms ready to pulverize while rocking some old school warrior chic? Nice. But the cherry on top is that the character’s name (presumably from the manga/anime) is Ashuraman’s Father, which is just hilarious; he doesn’t get his own name, but is defined by his progeny.
2. Jaws Man
It’s just a basic wrestling bod with a giant-mouthed monster head that would fit right in with 1978’s PIRANHA. Much like Devil Knight, Jaws Man isn’t reinventing anything or bringing anything exceptionally complex to the table, but there’s elegance in its simplicity that makes for a darling figure.
1. Heavy Metal
This thing is just a badass collection of references and coolness, there’s no way that Heavy Metal wouldn’t be number 1. It seems to be paying homage to KISS, Quiet Riot, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and more—but is just generally a reflection of the heavy metal aesthetic in such a way that makes for a great figure on its own. Looking like the berserker reject from FIST OF THE NORTH STAR, Heavy Metal is a tremendous design and a genuine thrill to behold.