Breaking Pup Is Hard To Do
My Mixtape’s A Masterpiece is a weekly feature in which a guest compiles a playlist around some theme. This week, Vito Nusret assembles 12 songs that represent a dog’s experience when their human leaves for an errand. Read Vito’s thoughts on each song and listen along to the Spotify playlist on top and/or the YouTube playlist at the bottom of the post.
“Okay, Spike, time to go to your room.” Ashley grabs her car keys and corrals her dog into his cage which could comfortably kennel an animal three times his size. A thirty-pound mutt of mostly Chihuahua and Pitbull persuasion, Spike evokes the countenance and character of Scrappy-Doo of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! fame. She hastily shuts the gate and latches it closed. “You want some tunes?” Ashley flips open the lid of her Italian Provincial style mid-century Fisher Stereo Console, wafting the faintest whiff of vintage walnut into the room, and turns the dial.
“-continuing commercial free with hits from the ‘80s, ‘90s, and today!”
“Be back soon, bubba—be good!” Ashley shuts the front door accompanied by a smattering of kisses directed at her beloved pooch but in her scramble to secure Spike, the latch of his cage door became entangled with one of the blankets lining his palatial puppy pen thus preventing the gate from locking properly. With just a push of his paw the cage door opens, and Spike is given run of the roost, stepping out into the dusty crepuscular rays of sunlight stretching across the hardwood floor.
And now we explore the twelve stages of grief through the eyes of a dog who has been left home alone during an alternative radio station’s rock block.
1. Shock
As performed by Ben Folds Five with “Song For The Dumped”
Oh shit, it’s finally happened, Spike thinks as he trots out into the solar streaked slats of the living room. She’s left before but this time was different. Those extra smooches were wrought with valediction. The chafed piano chords emanating from the stereo invoke in Spike the pang of a recent admonishment from Ashley for digging at her corn plant. The put out pup peers at the potted perennial piqued. She’s left me forever and it’s all your fault. Spike lurks towards the terra-cotta traitor loaded for bear with the intention of lifting his leg.
2. Denial
As performed by Go West with “King Of Wishful Thinking”
Inches before besmirching the debatably double-crossing Dracaena fragrans, cooler canine cabezas prevail. What am I worrying about? Spike catches a glimpse at himself in the full length mirror near the front door and tilts his head in satisfaction with what he sees. He hasn’t aged a day since Ashley got him aside from a tuft of his chin hair that’s turned white. Still spry as when he was a stray. Hail to the king, baby. That snuggle session she served up this morning surpasses any sprays of water she spoils that stupid corn plant with. Contented that he’s still top dog, Spike saunters over to the gray leather chair he’s usually shooed off of and sits with aplomb until he hears a ruckus at the front door and lets out a startled bark. She’s back! I knew it!
3. Disbelief
As performed by Scandal with “Goodbye To You”
An assemblage of envelopes and magazines is shoved through the mail slot and hits the floor with a soft thud as Spike’s tail wagging slowly stops. I can’t believe it. She’s actually gone for good this time. Spike lets out a low whine, scampers over to the pile of parcels, and sniffs, confirming that they were last touched by his old nemesis the mail carrier. He turns to the door with a growl but his attention quickly returns back to the delivered post as the last vestiges of his now defunct relationship. This stack of junk mail is all I have to remember her by. Welp, when life hands you lemons… Spike sinks his teeth into the parcels and starts to tear.
4. Confusion
As performed by Natalie Imbruglia with “Torn”
In moments Spike shreds through all of the envelopes and their contents (with the exception of a pre-approved credit card he merely gnawed) and was in the process of rendering a magazine asunder when another sound from outside catches his attention. Performing puppy parkour across a combination of furnishings in order to perch the perfect position at the picture window, Spike sees an automobile he recognizes across the street. Wait, is that her car? The make and model looks right but I can’t tell if that’s the color! Damn this dichromatic vision of mine! The mystery motorist exits the vehicle with a pizza box, revealing themselves to be decidedly not Ashley, and dashes up to the neighbor’s door.
5. Guilt
As performed by Chicago with “Hard To Say I’m Sorry”
Deflated by the delivery driver’s deception and with a sudden desire for pizza, Spike slaps his sad pads with exacerbation towards the kitchen to the dulcet tenor of Peter Cetera and contemplates contritely at a photo of he and Ashley affixed to the refrigerator with a wooden turtle magnet. Happier days. Where did things go so wrong? The lugubrious lap dog lumbers languidly back to the living room and looks upon the lacerated letters lamentably. I gotta make things right. A grand gesture to show what she means to me. Jogging over to the junk mail, Spike makes an attempt at attrition by collecting the scraps and placing them in Ashley’s nearby Hoka Bondi 8 sneakers for safekeeping.
6. Anger
As performed by Alanis Morissette with “You Oughta Know”
While sorting the pulverized parcels into the adjacent athletic shoes, Spike makes a disturbing discovery that replaces his remorse with rage. Contained in a card from one of Ashley’s friends is the now frayed photo of her canoodling with another dog. A dachshund no less! The visual impact of this betrayal coupled with raw lyrical and sonic output sends our focal fido into a furious frenzy of red hot righteous indignation. Spike snatches up the snapshot in his incisors and shakes it. Next on his hit list he sinks his teeth into Ashley’s prized Perigold Descanso decorative pillow arranged atop her favorite mostly pink multicolored Afghan laid over her plush emerald green couch. Throttling the throw pillow with all his might, Spike cleaves the cushion causing a combustion of down feathers to rain down.
7. Bargaining
As performed by Kat Bush with “Running Up The Hill”
Spike experiences a moment of clarity amidst the flurry of faintly falling fluff punctuated by the calming soporific synth pop sounds transmitted from the stereo. Overcome by the sights and sounds, Spike caroms to the coffee table, rears up on his hind legs, and spins in a revelatory reverie that conjures up images in the mind of the pup. A fanciful role reversal of Spike locking Ashley in the cage should their positions of power permutate to the provisional proverbial paw. In this subverted incarceration scenario Ashley puts her hand to the steel wire and to Spike’s surprise he responds in kind. What was initially constructed as a vagary vision of vengeance veers into a moment of mercy with metal melting away allowing woman and dog to find further understanding through the art of interpretative dance!
8. Depression
As performed by Sinéad O’Connor with “Nothing Compares 2 U”
Falling out of fantasy to all four feet, Spike finds himself alone atop the coffee table covered in down from the destroyed pillow. With a sneeze he fires feathers off his muzzle and resigns himself to the ill-fated idea that his days of tripping the life fantastic with Ashley may be done but the calamity is compounded by the devastating thought of her waltzing with a goddamned weiner dog! Despondent, Spike furrows his brow at the photo of a once happy couple on the fridge. With a few skillful springs he snatches the snapshot off of the appliance, stands on one side of the shot, and with canines chomped on a corner he tears the portrait in twain.
9. Loneliness
As performed by Goo Goo Dolls with “Iris”
Any catharsis Spike thought he’d feel through his act of pictorial effigy was either short lived or non-existent because now he looked down at the two halves of the photo strewn on the kitchen floor and just felt empty. Feeling very much hangdogged in every sense of the word, our pitiable pup schlepps himself back to the living room where he gazes longingly at the cherished Afghan still strewn over the couch. How many times has Ashley lovingly swaddled me with it to watch true crime documentaries together? Maybe a million times. I’m not great with numbers. Gripping a corner of the crochet in his mighty molars, Spike drags the blanket to his cage, buries his head in the aromatic Afghan, and breathes in the smell of it deeply. Taking a moment in his desertion driven dog dander to take stock of what he’s done.
10. Acceptance
As performed by Boyz II Men with “End Of The Road”
The scent of Ashley embedded in her most treasured textile sends a torrent of memories slow dancing around Spike’s mind. The day she adopted him. That stick he found. The time he threw up everywhere. The barking. Those were the good times. Snapping out of his short sojourn down memory lane, Spike realizes he was suckling on a bit of the blanket. Bleh! He releases the blanket from his bite and shakes his head as if to say it's time to put childish things away. Fun was fun and it’s going to be a long road forward but it seems best for everyone to move on. If she’s not coming back he’s going to have to figure out how to survive without her. Where she kept the kibble was now first and foremost in his mind.
11. Hope
As performed by Lizzo with “Truth Hurts”
Emerging from his retreat of quiet reflection, Spike makes note of the position of the sun on the hardwood floor with a heavy sigh. After what feels like ages of abject abasement our happy scrappy hero pup decides it’s time to start anew and wriggles out of his collar. Won’t be needing this anymore. He thinks upon seeing Ashley’s contact info on his tag with a deep sense of finality. Best now to take stock of resources. Ambling over to his feeding mat with a newfound swagger he notices his water bowl runneth over, lapping a few sips, but his food bowl is noticeably bare. A quick scan of the area and some deep disquisitive sniffs of the perimeter and a plan is formed. Spike rears back and slams his front paws on his bowl to flip it over to find five pieces of kibble laying underneath. Eureka!
12. Renewal
As performed by No Doubt with “Sunday Morning”
With 2/5 of the morsels immediately gobbled, Spike vows to save the rest for later in a master stroke of managing Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs with shelter, water, and now food successfully sorted. Every dog has its day and this one has already been a doozy. Spike returns to the once forbidden gray leather chair, sits with a sigh of satisfaction, and snaps at the still gently floating throw pillow feathers. Eyeing his reflection once more at the aforementioned full length mirror Spike observes his own personal growth during this trying time. This is healing. Suddenly, a jingle of keys and the clack of the deadbolt disengaging signifies the opening of the front door and Ashley finally returning home after an arduous hour or so abroad. She fumbles with some grocery bags before beholding the utter discombobulation of her humble abode caused by Spike’s bow wow bacchanal. “Spike, what the F-”
