JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK (2012)
Each Spring, a specific type of movie fan gets to enjoy the anticipation of the coming summer releases, hoping that maybe this year we’ll be lucky enough to get a good shark movie.
If you’re like me, this waiting period evokes the kinds of feelings Linus experiences while waiting for The Great Pumpkin.
2026 may not offer many new sharksploitation entries other than SHIVER and DEEP WATER. So, I’m going to recommend an overlooked gem from the sub-genre.
(IN) FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS about
JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK (2012)
Q: What’s the premise?
It’s one of those “hybrid horror” movies that blends different genres to create something new and exciting. In this case: an ocean thriller combined with MTV’s then-popular reality series The Jersey Shore.
Q: So, are Snooki and the gang from MTV’s The Jersey Shore in the movie?
No. They hired a bunch of actors you’ve never heard of to play similar character types. (Instead of Mike “The Situation”, there’s a hunky guy called “The Complication.”) It’s a close approximation. Like one of those tabloid movies about famous people. (Did you see any of the made-for-TV tell-alls about the making of The Brady Bunch?) I like it when low budget horror movies feature unknown actors. Because then it’s like they ARE the characters.
Q: This movie sounds dumb.
It IS dumb. It’s also charming and good natured. And funny! It’s a comedy – but they fully commit to the bit. Like when the “Guidos” are sincerely star-struck when they have a chance encounter with Joey Fatone. Moments before he is eaten by a shark.
It’s an ambitious SyFy Original that has no business being as good as it is.
Q: Are you saying the movie is good?
No, I'm saying the movie is GREAT! (But, you know… GREAT on a spectrum of terrible, low-budget shark movies.)
Q: What does that even mean?
Most modern shark movies put all the eggs in the shark basket. Every JAWS rip-off is so insecure because they know it’ll never be as good as JAWS. A lot of those storytellers make the same mistake: they try to overcompensate by giving the shark a gimmick. So, you get these campy, ironic, tongue-in-cheek, direct-to-video films like SNOW SHARK, TOXIC SHARK, GHOST SHARK, 6-HEADED SHARK ATTACK.
Q: Okay, I get it.
But director John Shepphird understood that those movies placed a unique shark in a generic setting paired with bland humans. JAWS works because of Amity. There’s a New York Cop trying to fit in among “islanders.” There’s a specific culture clash at play.
Q: What does this have to do with –
JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK makes good use of its distinct backdrop (one that lends itself to death by shark.) Thanks to the locale, the movie has an entirely different feel from those other low-budget shark thrillers of the 2000s. Instead of a forgettable un-named California town, we get the real Seaside Heights with all its history, characters, and true-to-life tensions.
Q: “True to life tensions”?
Guidos vs. Preppies. A gentrification storyline provides an inciting incident: rushed construction attracts a school of white-finned albino sharks.
Q: Was it filmed in New Jersey?
No, this was made in L.A. (Redondo Beach, Venice Beach). But for local flavor, the film includes some 2nd unit footage in New Jersey, shot by Fred Olen Ray. And if you’re reading NEON SPLATTER, you probably know who he is!
Q: Is it scary?
Not really. There’s some splatter-gore that’s mostly played for laughs. And the CGI Sharks reflect the limitations of 2012 technology (especially when created on a “SyFy Original” budget.) The albino sharks look more like oversized animated sperm.
Q: What else did the director make?
A couple of early ‘00s Christmas movies starring the likes of Corben Bernsen and Shelly Long. Plus something called SNOWBOARD ACADEMY. As far as I know these entries are also brilliant post-modern gems. But I haven’t gotten around to those titles.
Q: What has he directed since JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK?
We’re still waiting for his next movie.
Q: So, JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK ended his career?
To be fair, it’s a tough act to follow.
