Fourths Of July: THE BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN (1978)

I try not to let movies disappoint me. They are what they are. They are not what you decided beforehand what they should be. So when it comes to THE BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN (1978), I blame myself for assuming there was no way I wouldn’t love it. And y’all, I really didn’t love it. It just made me sad. All the pieces were there, but the execution was incoherent. I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt though. I believe, with only a few simple changes, it could have been a solid sequel.

The casting for BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN is excellent. Even in their golden years, pairing the charismatic Tony Curtis with the gristled Tomisaburô Wakayama (of the Lone Wolf And Cub Series) is ingenious.

The two acting legends pull off the culture clash trope well and had fun chemistry for the little opportunity they have to develop it. They play up the comedy and bounce so well off each other that it could have been its own movie. We’ve seen Curtis do this before in THE DEFIANT ONES (1958). Except this time, imagine more of a Rush Hour series but with baseball managers. Instead of martial arts, they must each illustrate their baseball prowess with Curtis ready to fist fight umpires and Wakayama running out to the field with a katana and a child in uniform in a basket on his back ready to cut a top knot. Kidding! There are no katanas in baseball!

Who would even want that movie? Not me! Not me at all (looks at feet.) I’m just saying that you had Curtis and Wakayama, two powerhouses right there at your disposal, and you wasted them. How could you BAD NEWS BEARS 4? How could you!

The film also lacks any focus and spends a lot of time building up plot points that don’t matter while ignoring the meat of the movie. Which is a friendly way of saying that there was very little baseball in this movie, and even the team—who themselves schemed to get to Japan to make baseball America proud—could not care less. I understand the desire to use Curtis as much as possible because of his star power. It’s unfortunate that his time spent on screen is used mostly for finding a way for the game to happen in the first place. A sequence using the gimmick of wrestling icon Antonio Inoki is a welcomed cameo, but is again executed poorly.

A clever story could have easily made an international game possible without eating up 95% of the film. With the reasons for the baseball game squared away, the movie would’ve been able to focus on the relationships between Curtis and the boys, and the opposing team. This is where the heart of baseball films lie and it is a huge part of what made the first BAD NEWS BEARS so successful.

Curtis’ few moments bonding with the boys and opposing coach are the best part of this BAD NEWS BEARS installment. Sadly, this only happens in the third act of the movie. It was as if the director suddenly realized all these shortcomings in the editing room and made the final ten minutes into a short film.

For all its problematic and filmmaking cringe, there are still things to appreciate in BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN.

There are moments where the boys from each team are learning and embracing new culture through each other. World War II is subtly addressed from both viewpoints and baseball seems to be a way to heal that wound. A similar set up happened in Hawaii in 2007, where veterans from both sides played each other in a friendly baseball game.

This movie also has a terrific Godzilla commercial and a few entertaining scenes on a Japanese TV variety show. The Godzilla commercial is so on point that I would argue MR. BASEBALL (1992) pays homage to it as well.

I’m a huge baseball fan and of Japanese descent. THE BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN was a movie I wanted to love with my entire heart and soul. It had the means but lacked the heart and emotional depth that made the first movie so compelling.

It also lacked baseball.

So what I’m proposing is that if Hollywood is hell bent on remaking all kinds of movies unnecessarily, my vote is for THE BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN to get its proper redo and really show people what it can be. Ken Watanabe, I’m looking at you. Robert De Niro, you’ve done baseball movies. Batter up!