One of the few fun things we adults have going for us—and believe me, there are very few of those—is free reign to buy toys without justification or apology. Unless you count justifying to your debit card, or apologizing to your landlord for the late rent. But for the sake of wish fulfillment, let’s not count those. There’s apparently even a term for the consumer uptick in toy collecting, particularly by elder Millennials and the Gen-Z. It’s called “kidulting.” Thanks, I hate it.
I found horror media rather young, as some of you who may have read some of my previous articles are well-aware. But for some strange reason, horror toys just weren’t on my radar, save for my beloved Chucky doll. Maybe I was too busy trying to be an adult, tapping away ghost stories on my typewriter. Maybe I just wasn’t that cool. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t cool and am still decidedly uncool. But on most days, I am an adult, with adult money to spend. And I want to spend my hard-earned adult dollars on these toys that I missed out on the first time around.
1. Big Frank: Talking Frankenstein from Playskool
This delightfully DayGlo colored monstrosity hit the shelves in 1992. I was in second grade at the time, likely bugging my parents for stickers and coloring books when I should’ve been pleading for an undead plastic creature to tinker with. It pains me that I missed out on playing pretend Victor Frankenstein.
2. ALIENS MicroMachines Transforming Action Set
There is literally no acceptable excuse for me not snatching up this bad boy in 1997. By that time, I was already indoctrinated by Goosebumps, Stephen King, and Ridley Scott. Where was this perfect organism when I was in seventh grade? Did this not make it into the Toys ‘R’ Us Christmas catalogue? How am I only learning this existed now? So many unanswered questions.
3. Madballs
These grotesque foam balls were all the rage in the late ‘80s. And yet somehow, I never had a Madball rolled my way as a child. Fortunately, this grave injustice was remedied during a recent outing to a local antique mall. I found a genuine Wolf Breath Madball from the ‘Gross-Out’ Series One brand relaunch last year. But…Madballs…an “antique?” My soul hurts at the thought.
4. Boglins
At least I remember these creepy little buggers advertised on TV. Another entry into the gremlin/troll/ghoulie craze of ‘80s and ‘90s, the Boglin puppets were one of the few toy lines that didn’t lead to an animated show. These jailed little monsters were even designed by The Jim Hensen company. What parent wouldn’t love that?
5. My Pet Monster
I ALWAYS wanted this big cuddly creature. Long have I searched flea markets and thrift stores in hopes of finding one of the original 1986 Monsters, because eBay prices are crazy high. Lucky for me, LA-based collectors’ toy company The Loyal Subjects came to own the rights to manufacture My Pet Monsters in a slightly smaller scale in 2025. You better believe I pre-ordered that baby on day one. He now lives comfortably in my home office, next to all the other horror memorabilia.
6. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET Talking Freddy Krueger Doll
To be fair, I was only five years old when the authentic pull-string Talking Freddy Krueger hit the shelves. So sad to say, I didn’t get this one. But if it’s any consolation I did have the Talking Pee-wee Herman doll that preceded it. And I loved that thing until the voice box got warbled and the string broke off from overuse.
7. My Buddy doll
The obvious inspiration for Chucky’s marketable design, that My Buddy theme song was like the trigger sound for activating preschool aged sleeper agents. Napper agents, if you will. “Wherever I go, he goes” is actually quite creepy, come to think of it. For some reason I didn’t ask my parents for My Buddy. To the surprise of absolutely no one, I skipped straight to the Good Guy version. But not to fear, dear reader—I found a My Buddy doll in remarkable shape for $3 at a flea market when I was well into my twenties. And yes, I still have him.
8. Little Tikes Magic Workshop Tabletop Playset
I’d have loved this as a kid. Hell, I love it as an adult. Little Tikes should’ve just been honest and called this set Witchcraft For Toddlers. A cauldron, potions, and a grimoire? Just give it to me. Don’t ask how old my kids are. I don’t have any. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have hexing to do.
9. Creepy Crawlers
I had no idea Creepy Crawlers was originally manufactured as ‘Thingmaker’ by Mattel in the 1960s. But it makes sense. The ’60s threw caution to the wind when it came to young hands reaching into tiny 400 degree ovens. Eventually the Consumer Product Safety Commission came to the their senses and pulled the product until it could meet stricter regulations. But along came the ToyMax company in the 1990s with a literal light bulb idea to cure the creepy creations instead of using heat. And then they marketed the hell out of it. I don’t even like bugs and I still wanted one.
10. TERMINATOR 2 Bio-Flesh Regenerator Playset
The Mattel ‘Thingmaker’ walked so Kenner’s TERMINATOR 2 Bio-Flesh could run. Building on the goop-molded vac-u-forms from yesteryear, the T2 Regenerator Playset allowed you to mold new flesh for battle-damaged terminator endoskeleton figures. I actually remember this being advertised as looking as badass as the movie. But from what I hear, it was a messy process that rarely worked as intended. A damned shame, if you ask me.
