THE WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS (1966)
Kaijumania X-Seven
You think you're special, you do
I can see it in your eyes
Gaira grabs the giant squid (I wonder if they know Ebirah?) and drags it back out of the sea with tentacles swinging wildly. Then the green goliath flings the colossal cephalopod, capsizes the fishing barge previously attacked by the capacious calamari, and proceeds to devour the scattering crew.
I can see it when you laugh at me
Look down on me and walk around on me
Sanda emerges from the lush treeline and pulls the mortally wounded Gaira from laying facedown in Lake Biwa after absorbing a hail of gunfire and force lighting from the newly developed Maser Cannons delivered by Japan Self-Defense Forces.
Just one more fight about your leadership
And I will straight up leave your shit
Gaira smashes his hand into the subway station and reaches for Dr. Paul Stewart and intrepid assistant Akemi Togawa as they recoil amidst the rubble in revulsion.
'Cause I've had enough of this
And now I'm pissed, yeah
Sanda shoves Gaira, perplexed why a fellow Frankenstein is willing to wrought such wanton wreckage and threaten the lives of his beloved scientists.
This time I'ma let it all come out
Gaira stomps and shreds the Haneda Airport asunder, smashing structures, swatting airships, snatching and snarfing anyone unfortunate enough to get in his way.
This time I'ma stand up and shout
Realizing the harm Gaira can cause, Sanda pulls up a tree and begins to wallop the injured amphibious offshoot Frankenstein.
I'ma do things my way, it's my way
Dueling in downtown Tokyo, Gaira grips Sanda in an armbar and proceeds to bite his biological agnate on the bicep before the two separate in the struggle and collapse into respective buildings.
My way or the highway
The two towering beasts exchange haymakers back and forth amidst a barrage of bombs and bullets!
Okay, you’ve got me. I used Limp Bizkit’s “My Way” and visual cues from the video package advertising Stone Cold Steve Austin versus The Rock for their confrontation at Wrestlemania X-Seven as the intro for my writeup on this kaiju classic featuring an all-timer tokusatsu Tokyo throwdown between two titanic tussling furry Frankensteins entitled THE WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS! If you know a better way to hype up a fight, I’d love to hear it!
This was a regular watch for me as a youngster. Along with GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS! (re-edited with the renowned Raymond Burr of Perry Mason fame), MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA, and INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER this was in frequent rotation on basic cable due to their English-dubbed versions featured on TNT’s MonsterVision hosted by exploitation film au fait, Joe Bob Briggs. While I’ve since come to favor my kaiju subtitled, this is one of the few films from Toho Co. that I actually prefer dubbed. There are great lines of dialogue peppered throughout but the bulk of the heavy lifting is carried out by venerable Frankenstein expert Dr. Paul Stewart as played by Russ Tamblyn (Dr. Lawrence Jacoby from Twin Peaks). Quotent quotables like “Right up to the time he was finally killed on the top of Mt. Fuji, he never once harmed a single human being” and “Silly nut, you’ll kill yourself” are delivered by Tamblyn in a delightful deadpan producing hilarity.
While I grant you this is likely the unintentional product of a language barrier, Tamblyn played the character of Dr. Stewart as quite smarmy and sarcastic in a way that for me improves the central dichotomy of the theme. It’s the love and nurturing from his assistant Akemi that saves Sanda from becoming vicious and savage like Gaira due to being raised in the dogfish-eat-dogfish deep sea. Per Wikizilla.org “Formed from cells left behind by fellow Frankenstein spawn Sanda, Gaira grew up in underwater, surrounded by hostile sea creatures and never knowing the comforting touch of another being. As a result, Gaira became hateful and violent, venting his rage by terrorizing humanity.” Girl, same.
My only qualm with the english dub is the removal of most of the mentions of FRANKENSTEIN VS. BARAGON, to which THE WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS is a very loose sequel. That film explains how Frankenstein’s monster DNA ended up in Japan and is part of a photophobic monkey-type monster that grows to 164 feet tall with a penchant for swinging ‘60s song stylings but in brief: cuz nazis and American atomic avarice. I mean, it’s a little more involved than that, but Takashi Shimura from SEVEN SAMURAI really sells the premise in the opening.
Speaking of performances, celebrated kaiju character actor Haruo Nakajima is proud of his performance as Gaira and credits Eiji Tsuburaya’s costume design for allowing more range of motion than he got in the Godzilla suit and for not completely covering his eye thus allowing for him to be more expressive. In addition to those crucial creature civvies, Tsuburaya can also claim charge of the expertly made minutia that make up the many miniatures utilized to spruce up the set pieces.
Ultimately, this tale serves as an elaborate, supersized comment on nature versus nature. This is the crux of the good battling evil fable that served as a formative film core memory for Brad Pitt, Quentin Tarantino’s inspiration for the battle between Beatrix Kiddo and Elle Driver in KILL BILL VOL. II, and Nicolas Cage’s personal favorite of Ishirō Honda filmography for its fantastically bizarre yet evocative filmmaking.
Yes, I’ve read critics deride the dated special effects and depreciate the delivery from our male lead but like these three Academy Award-recognized artists, I view this classic cut of kaiju cinema quite fondly to the point that I can “Feel In My Heart” because despite all my fumbling and bumbling “The words get stuck in my throat.”
